Mattresses, the unsung heroes of our sleep-filled lives. We spend a third of our lives on them, dreaming, resting, and sometimes even working. It’s only fair that we can find some humor within the springs, foams, and fabrics that support us every night.

Puns About Mattress Types

Whether you prefer memory foam, innerspring, or a hybrid, there’s a pun to be made. These jokes are designed to bring a little levity to the world of sleep surfaces.

Here are some puns about mattress types:

1. Why did the memory foam mattress break up with the pillow? It felt like they were always drifting apart.
2. I tried to make a joke about an innerspring mattress, but it lacked support.
3. What do you call a mattress that’s always telling stories? A bed-time storyteller.
4. Did you hear about the hybrid mattress that won an award? It was outstanding in its field.
5. Why did the latex mattress go to therapy? It had too many stress marks.
6. What do you call a sad mattress? Blue-tick-ed
7. I bought a self-inflating mattress and I’m all right Jack.
8. They are making a new mattress film, it will be foam-ous.
9. My mattress and I have a special relationship. We’re really close.
10. I tried to sell my old mattress but no spring chicken.
11. My old mattress was too soft that I sank into it and slept like a log.
12. I sold my mattress for charity, I felt it was the spring thing to do.
13. My mattress is a constant in my life, every night it never lets me down.
14. I love my new mattress so much, I’m head over heels with it.
15. My new mattress gives me the best sleep of my life.
16. I spent over $1000 on it, money well spent.
17. My mattress is my soft place to land after a long day at work.
18. I sleep like a rock on my new mattress.
19. This joke is resting on the surface.
20. My mattress is the spring in my life.
21. I sold my old mattress cheaply, spring cleaning is a chore.
22. My new mattress is really high tech, sleep is never the same again.
23. My mattress goes well with our bedspread.
24. My mattress is the foundation of the bed.
25. There goes my mattress.
26. This is a real sleeping mattress.
27. You are always laying in the same place on the mattress.
28. You are a total mattress!
29. I love my mattress how long will it last?
30. My husband said our mattress smells!
31. I am going to burn out mattress.
32. The springs have gone on the mattress.
33. You can’t spring back from that fall on the mattress.
34. She hit him so hard that he bounced off the mattress.
35. How much did you pay for that mattress?
36. Did you see the fight that they had on the mattress.
37. My mattress is so big.

Puns About Sleep Quality

A good mattress directly impacts the quality of your sleep. These puns highlight the importance of a comfortable sleeping surface, even through humor.

Here are some jokes about the quality of sleep:

1. I told my mattress it wasn’t comfortable. It didn’t seem to take it lying down.
2. Why did the mattress get promoted? It was outstanding in its field of dreams.
3. What’s a mattress’s favorite type of music? Bedtime stories.
4. My old mattress used to give me nightmares. It was a real sleep stealer.
5. Sleeping on a bad mattress is a snooze you lose situation.
6. I went to sleep on my new mattress, it was really quite dreamy.
7. My sleep schedule is crazy.
8. I want to dream about the big bucks and bucks.
9. I had a dream where I was eating marshmallows.
10. I had a sleep-related dream.
11. Sleep with both eyes shut you’ll see better.
12. When I sleep I do not want to be disturbed.
13. Sleeping early means that you will wake up early too.
14. Every time I sleep on my back I snore.
15. I don’t drink before I sleep so that I can have a better night.
16. If you don’t sleep enough that means that you will be tired.
17. I dream of sleep.
18. The sleep I get in my mattress is heaven sent.
19. My mattress is the best place to unwind and relax.
20. I spent the night on a new mattress.
21. I got a good night’s sleep on that mattress.
22. I want to go to sleep right now!
23. I want to get some shut eye.
24. When I first lied on the mattress I started snoring.
25. The best sleep is the one where you don’t have to wake up.
26. When I sleep I sleep, don’t disturb me.
27. Don’t disturb me when I sleep.
28. I love to sleep when the weather is cold.
29. The time is right to crash out.
30. I will sleep on it and tell you when it’s all right.
31. You are putting me to sleep here!
32. I can’t wait to snooze.
33. You bore me you know.
34. Let’s go get some sleep.
35. Sleep is fun.
36. I snore every night.
37. What happened to that other mattress?

Puns About Mattress Shopping

Shopping for a mattress can be overwhelming. Mattress sizes, firmness levels, and materials galore! These puns help lighten the mood during the stressful search for the perfect sleep surface.

Here are some shopping jokes about mattresses:

1. Why did the shopper return the mattress? It didn’t live up to its advertisements.
2. Shopping for a mattress is exhausting. I need to rest afterwards.
3. What did onen mattress say to the other? We shall meet again.
4. I went mattress shopping and found the process very deflating.
5. Be careful when shopping for a mattress. Deals can be deceptive.
6. What can I get for my money with this company?
7. The shopping experience was bad.
8. Have you got my receipt for the mattress.
9. I want to return this mattress to you!
10. I got a great deal on the mattress.
11. Did you see that showroom with all the mattresses.
12. How can I get the best service when going shopping for mattress?
13. Can you lower the price just a little bit?
14. The mattress is really expensive.
15. Do you have a sale on the mattress?
16. The mattress is really quite soft.
17. The delivery of the matterss will take how long?
18. I want to cancel my order, please.
19. I paid extra for the mattress to be delivered in the house.
20. I would like the mattress to be delivered on a specific date.
21. Can I get a money off coupon?
22. I can’t afford the delivery can I come and collect it?
23. You delivered the mattress when I wasn’t at home.
24. I don’t like the mattress I would like a refund.
25. This is awful service, I’m leaving a bad review.
26. What offers do you have on in your store right now?
27. If I pay extra can you put the mattress on my bed?
28. I want you to install my mattress in my house.
29. I am not paying for delivery so take my custom elsewhere.
30. What am I looking to pay for the mattress?
31. This is the mattress that I want.
32. What firmness is the mattrss?
33. Should I buy online?
34. Can I see the delivery charges?
35. I want free delivery.
36. I am willing to pay but no more than that.
37. Can you price match?

Puns About Mattress Firmness

From soft to extra firm, the firmness of a mattress is a key factor comfort. These puns explore the lighter side of finding the perfect firmness level.

Here are some jokes about mattress firmness:

1. Why did the firm mattress get a standing ovation? It really supported the show.
2. I like my mattress firm, so I can really rise to the occasion in the morning.
3. What do you call a mattress that’s not too hard and not too soft? Medium rare.
4. My soft mattress is way too sensitive. It can’t handle any pressure.
5. My mattress used to be really hard, now it’s just firm.
6. I like my mattress how I like my steak, well done!
7. Let my mattress be the judge for the best sleep award.
8. This is a firm mattress, I want one that is nice and soft.
9. That mattress is too soft I want something harder.
10. This mattress has my stamp of approval
11. If you like this mattress that is fair enough
12. I am a qualified mattress examiner!
13. Only the best mattress are what is good enough for me.
14. If you pay extra you can have that mattress.
15. I am a mattress expert!
16. You have to pay extra for this mattress just get on with it!
17. This mattress is not up to my standards.
18. I have very high standards and that mattress is not it for me.
19. If you are after a good mattress then you will have to pay!
20. The firmness of the mattress really matters here on in.
21. I will get the queen to come and inspect the firmness of this mattress!
22. Let me measure it on the Richter scale.
23. The softness of this mattress is like snow!
24. You have to pay to get a good mattress!
25. A good mattress is so important on.
26. Only pay the best for a mattress.
27. Lets get some sleep on the mattress.
28. The firmness of this mattress is terrible.
29. I can get this softness right.
30. Does this mattress have a warranty?
31. Is there insurance on the mattress?
32. Is the filling on the mattress organic?
33. How long after sleeping one it until the imprint goes away?
34. Is it ok to sweat on this mattress?
35. Does the mattress have any harmful chemicals?
36. Can I choose my mattress?
37. Can I lie on the mattress to see if it is good?
38. Where did you get this mattress from?

Puns About Mattress Maintenance

Taking care of your mattress ensures its longevity. These puns bring humor to the often-overlooked task of mattress maintenance.

Here are some jokes about mattress maintenance:

1. I tried to clean my mattress with humor, but it just didn’t tick.
2. What do mattresses say when they get old? I think I am passing my sell-by date.
3. My mattress needs flipping so I won’t lose my head.
4. Ignoring mattress maintenance, I just need to keep it covered up.
5. If you keep your mattress clean it will show you what you are made of
6. You should clean the mattress so that you don’t get stains.
7. Always air out your mattress to keep it nice and fresh.
8. I have the world’s tidiest mattress.
9. If you turn/flip your mattress regularly then it will last longer.
10. I only paid peanuts so that doesn’t mean I have to look after it.
11. Clean the mattress every day if you can.
12. Make sure the mattress is turned around the right way.
13. Clean the bed frame also.
14. Put a blanket over your mattress to protect it.
15. Keep the mattress looking good as much as possible.
16. I hate cleaning.
17. I have a cleaner that comes every week to clean it for me.
18. If something gets on the mattress clean it straight away.
19. Get a professional in to clean the mattress.
20. Put a protector on the mattress to prevent damage.
21. Always have a clean set of sheets.
22. Keep away from children who make a mess.
23. Keep it in a nice atmosphere.
24. Keep the mattress in darkness.
25. Always have a clean mattress cover.
26. Always keep it fresh and clean and change the sheets.
27. Keep your mattress nice or I will slap you!
28. I like to keep the mattress as fresh as possible.
29. Always hoover your mattress when you can.
30. Keep it nice or sell it on!
31. Sell my grandmother’s or keep it?
32. I’m going to burn it!!!
33. Give it to charity!
34. I am going to keep it no matter what.
35. Let’s think about the mattress.
36. Does it matter if it’s on the floor?
37. We need to move the mattress.

Mattress Material Puns

Mattresses come in various materials, from traditional springs to modern memory foam. Get ready to laugh with these material-related mattress puns.

Here are some jokes about mattress material:

1. What do you call a mattress made of money? Well padded.
2. Why was the memory foam mattress so popular? It was very impressionable.
3. I tried to tell a joke about wool mattresses, but it always got fleeced.
4. My innerspring mattress has so many issues I can’t spring to resolution.
5. This mattress is made of rubber I love it more than anything.
6. Foam mattress covers are the best.
7. The best memory foam mattresses are from tempur.
8. Don’t mess with me I have springs.
9. Don’t forget all your foam mattresses.
10. Get the latest foam memory mattresses.
11. Mattresses are soft and foam you know.
12. Lets cover these foam mattresses, you know.
13. Lets all get drunk and fall on the mattress!
14. Foam mattresses are fun to bounce on.
15. The memory foam is so soft.
16. I am going to buy a spring foam mattress.
17. Lets go wild and go crazy on that mattress!
18. The cover on that mattress smells.
19. That mattress feels hot to the touch!
20. That mattress is too soft for me.
21. That mattress has springs hanging out or it.
22. We need a latex mattress in our life.
23. I have got a soft and bouncy latex mattress.
24. Latex mattresses can be made out of wood.
25. I’m not sleeping on latex mattress.
26. I don’t want a latex mattress because I don’t like trees or leaves.
27. I like the smell of foam.
28. Foam mattresses can be cheap enough.
29. You don’t want a foam mattress.
30. Foam mattresses are the way to go for now.
31. Latex mattresses are safe you know.
32. You are such a mattress.
33. My mattress and I are going for a walk.
34. I am going to buy a waterproof mattress.
35. Does the mattress have a warranty?
36. Can you give me a discount.
37. The filling keeps coming out!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q1: What’s the best type of mattress for back pain?
A: A medium-firm mattress is often recommended, as it provides a balance of support and comfort. Memory foam or hybrid mattresses can conform to your body and alleviate pressure points.

Q2: How often should I replace my mattress?
A: It’s generally recommended to replace your mattress every 7-10 years, depending on its quality and condition.

Q3: How can I make my mattress last longer?
A: Use a mattress protector, rotate your mattress regularly, and avoid eating or drinking in bed. Also, ensure your bed frame provides good support.

Q4: What is a “mattress in a box”?
A: It is a mattress compressed, rolled, and shipped in a box. Once unboxed, it expands to its full size.

Q5: Is it better to buy a mattress online or in a store?
A: Both have advantages. In-store allows you to test the mattress, while online offers convenience and often lower prices. Many online retailers offer trial periods.

Q6: What size mattress is best for couples?
A: A Queen or King size is generally recommended for couples, providing enough space for comfortable sleep.

Q7: What exactly is ‘off-gassing,’ and is it harmful?
A: Off-gassing refers to the release of volatile organic compounds (VOCs) from new mattresses. Most off-gassing is harmless and dissipates within a few days. Look for CertiPUR-US certified mattresses for lower VOC emissions.

Q8: What is the ideal room temperature for sleeping on a mattress?
A: Experts recommend a room temperature between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit (15.6 to 19.4 degrees Celsius) for optimal sleep.

Q9: What does hypoallergenic mean in regards to mattresses?
A: Hypoallergenic mattresses are designed to repel common allergens like dust mites, mold, and pet dander.

Q10: How about a mattress for toddler?

A: Use a crib mattress and mattress protectors to prevent them from damaging.

Q11: How do I dispose of my old mattress?”

A: Many charities accept mattress donations. Don’t dump mattress in public places that will make the neighbourhood looks bad.

Conclusion

Hopefully, these mattress puns have sprung some joy into your day. Whether you’re shopping for a new mattress, trying to improve your sleep, or just appreciate a good joke, remember that a good laugh is almost as important as a good night’s sleep!