Toilet Puns to Make Your Humor Flush with Laughter

If you think about it, toilets are pretty fundamental to our lives. They’re a necessity, yes, but also a source of unexpected humor. Toilet humor, while sometimes crude, is universally understood and can provide a much-needed laugh. This blog post explores the world of toilet puns, offering a humorous look at the everyday commode and everything that goes with it. From potty-themed jokes to puns about plumbing, get ready to flush away your seriousness and embrace the lighter side of life. Consider this your one-stop resource for amusing toilet wordplay, perfect for sharing with mates or just enjoying yourself during your next bathroom break.

Potty Puns

Let’s start with the basics: potty-related puns. These are your bread-and-butter jokes about the act itself, the training process, and the general experience of using the toilet. If you need a laugh, this is the place to start.

1. I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
2. I used to hate facial hair. Then it grew on me.
3. What did the cop say to the burger? … “Lettuce arrest you, you are wanted for grilling!”
4. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down!
5. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
6. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
7. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere.
8. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!
9. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
10. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
11. I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
12. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
13. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
14. A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
15. What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
16. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
17. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
18. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
19. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
20. I always take things at face value… mostly because I’m too lazy to look them up.
21. I tried to make a reservation at the library but they said they were fully booked.
22. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
23. I just found out I’m colorblind. It came completely out of the purple.
24. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
25. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.
26. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
27. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
28. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
29. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
30. I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
31. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it be “R”, but it be the “C”!
32. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field
33. What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt.
34. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.
35. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
36. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
37. What did the buffalo say when he dropped his son off at school? Bison.
38. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
39. I’m thinking of writing an autobiography. I’ll call it “Me, Myself, and Eye.”
40. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
41. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
42. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
43. I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my budget.
44. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!
45. Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.

Toilet Seat Puns

The humble toilet seat is another goldmine for jokes. It’s the throne we all sit on, and it’s ripe for puns about comfort, royalty, and everything in between.

A comfortable toilet seat is truly a must-have in life, here is a must have puns as well;

1. This seat is fit for a king! Or at least someone who feels like one… for a few minutes anyway.
2. Don’t get caught with your pants down on this one.
3. Ready to take a seat? You’ll be here a while…
4. Warning: Prolonged sitting may lead to deep thoughts and existential crises.
5. Finally, a comfortable place to contemplate life’s biggest questions.
6. Upgrade your throne and unleash your inner monarch.
7. Where comfort meets convenience.
8. Because your bottom deserves the best.
9. Elevate your everyday routine with this little luxury.
10. Warning: May cause extreme relaxation and reluctance to leave.
11. This seat is like a warm hug for your rear end.
12. Get ready to settle in for a while…
13. The perfect place to escape the chaos of the world.
14. Sit back, relax, and let your worries float away.
15. Prepare for liftoff!
16. Your personal oasis of calm awaits.
17. Enjoy your throne time.
18. Because everyone deserves a moment of peace and comfort.
19. The most important seat in the house, now even better.
20. So soft, it’s like sitting on a cloud!
21. This just might be the comfiest toilet seat you can buy.
22. The soft close feature is something you need in your life.
23. So plush and durable, that it will last you years!
24. The quick release function ensures that cleaning and maintaining is easy.
25. This is a non slip seat so no matter what you have nothing to worry about the seat sliding when you sit down.
26. The ergonomic design will provide you with lumbar support and proper posture.
27. Experience luxury at a budget-friendly price point
28. You can have the spa experience everyday by owning this seat.
29. Transform every bathroom visit into a delightful experience.
30. It will match any bathroom design and layout.
31. A seat so comfortable, it’ll make you forget why you came in the first place.
32. Where comfort meets convenience.
33. Upgrade your throne, elevate your experience.
34. A royal flush of comfort awaits.
35. Give your derriere the royal treatment it deserves!”
36. Make every visit a first-class experience.
37. Experience the epitome of relief with this seat
38. Sit down to something special with this seat!
39. Make your bathroom your favorite room – one seat at a time.
40. Because comfort shouldn’t be a luxury, it should be a standard.”
41. Upgrade to a softer landing.
42. You do not want to leave the seat ever.
43. Where relaxation is always in session.
44. Take a seat, and let the comfort wash over you.
45. This is a seat to remember.
46. Buy your bathroom today!
47. Say hello to comfort, and goodbye to bathroom blues.

Plumbing Puns

Plumbing is the unsung hero of our modern lives. The unseen network of pipes and fixtures keeps everything flowing smoothly (or tries to, anyway). And, of course, it’s another opportunity for some great toilet-related humor.

Here are some more examples:

1. I’m outstanding in my field.
2. Two peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted. It was a salted peanut.
3. What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt.
4. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
5. A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bar tender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here”.
6. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
7. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
8. I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a mussel.
9. I don’t trust stairs because they are always up to something.
10. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
11. Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.
12. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
13. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
14. I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
15. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
16. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
17. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
18. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
19. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!
20. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
21. A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a dozen other men. It was pretty easy to spot him.
22. So a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacist asks “What size?” The duck replies: Just put it on my bill.”
23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
24. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
25. Shout out to my fingers. I can always count on them.
26. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
27. I always take things at face value… mostly because I’m too lazy to look them up.
28. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
29. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
30. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
31. I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
32. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it be “R”, but it be the “C”!
33. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
34. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.
35. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
36. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
37. I’m thinking of writing an autobiography. I’ll call it “Me, Myself, and Eye.”
38. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
39. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
40. I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my budget.
41. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!
42. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
43. What rock group has four men that can’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
44. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath I think I am sick.
45. Why is a baseball team like a muffin? They both need a good batter.

Flush Puns

Flushing the toilet is the grand finale of the whole process. These puns are about letting things go, starting fresh, and the satisfying swirl of water that makes it all disappear.

Here are a few:

1. I’m outstanding in my field.
2. Two peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted. It was a salted peanut.
3. What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt.
4. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
5. A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bar tender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here”.
6. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
7. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
8. I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a mussel.
9. I don’t trust stairs because they are always up to something.
10. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
11. Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.
12. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
13. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
14. I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
15. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
16. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
17. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
18. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
19. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!
20. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
21. A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a dozen other men. It was pretty easy to spot him.
22. So a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacist asks “What size?” The duck replies: Just put it on my bill.”
23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
24. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
25. Shout out to my fingers. I can always count on them.
26. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
27. I always take things at face value… mostly because I’m too lazy to look them up.
28. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
29. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
30. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
31. I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
32. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it be “R”, but it be the “C”!
33. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
34. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.
35. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
36. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
37. I’m thinking of writing an autobiography. I’ll call it “Me, Myself, and Eye.”
38. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
39. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
40. I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my budget.
41. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!
42. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
43. What rock group has four men that can’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
44. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath I think I am sick.
45. Why is a baseball team like a muffin? They both need a good batter.

Restroom Sign Puns

Those little signs on the restroom doors are prime real estate for a bit of humor. Whether they’re playing on gender roles, or just being silly, restroom sign puns can add a touch of levity to an otherwise mundane place.

Take a look for yourself:

1. I’m outstanding in my field.
2. Two peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted. It was a salted peanut.
3. What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt.
4. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
5. A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bar tender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here”.
6. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
7. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
8. I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a mussel.
9. I don’t trust stairs because they are always up to something.
10. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
11. Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.
12. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
13. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
14. I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
15. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
16. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
17. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
18. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
19. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!
20. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
21. A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a dozen other men. It was pretty easy to spot him.
22. So a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacist asks “What size?” The duck replies: Just put it on my bill.”
23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
24. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
25. Shout out to my fingers. I can always count on them.
26. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
27. I always take things at face value… mostly because I’m too lazy to look them up.
28. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
29. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
30. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
31. I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
32. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it be “R”, but it be the “C”!
33. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
34. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.
35. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
36. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
37. I’m thinking of writing an autobiography. I’ll call it “Me, Myself, and Eye.”
38. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
39. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
40. I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my budget.
41. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!
42. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
43. What rock group has four men that can’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
44. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath I think I am sick.
45. Why is a baseball team like a muffin? They both need a good batter.

Toilet Paper Puns

Last but not least, we can’t forget about toilet paper! This everyday essential, often taken for granted, is actually a surprisingly versatile source for puns!

Here are just a few:

1. I’m outstanding in my field.
2. Two peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted. It was a salted peanut.
3. What shirt should you wear to a tea party? A t-shirt.
4. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
5. A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bar tender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here”.
6. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
7. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
8. I went to a seafood disco last night and pulled a mussel.
9. I don’t trust stairs because they are always up to something.
10. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
11. Why can’t Monday lift Saturday? It’s a weak day.
12. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
13. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
14. I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
15. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
16. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
17. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
18. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
19. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!
20. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
21. A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a dozen other men. It was pretty easy to spot him.
22. So a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for a condom. The pharmacist asks “What size?” The duck replies: Just put it on my bill.”
23. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
24. I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
25. Shout out to my fingers. I can always count on them.
26. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
27. I always take things at face value… mostly because I’m too lazy to look them up.
28. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? Pouch potato!
29. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
30. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
31. I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
32. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it be “R”, but it be the “C”!
33. Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
34. Did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar? He got twelve months.
35. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet.
36. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
37. I’m thinking of writing an autobiography. I’ll call it “Me, Myself, and Eye.”
38. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
39. How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
40. I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my budget.
41. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop!
42. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
43. What rock group has four men that can’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
44. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath I think I am sick.
45. Why is a baseball team like a muffin? They both need a good batter.

FAQ Section

Here are some frequently asked questions about toilet humor and puns:

Conclusion

So, there you have it – a thorough, and hopefully amusing, journey through the world of toilet puns. While toilet humor might not be everyone’s cup of tea (or bowl of… something else), it provides a lighthearted way to connect over a universal human experience. Keep these puns in mind the next time you need a chuckle or want to break the ice, and remember that sometimes, the best humor comes from the most unexpected places. Just don’t get flushed with excitement!